"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:5

There's a question that nags at every serious follower of Jesus: "Am I actually growing as a follower of Jesus? Am I doing what he wants me to do and being who he wants me to be?”

I remember the moment this question hit me with full force. I was playing a game on my phone probably for longer than I felt comfortable with. But I couldn’t seem to stop. As I went to bed that night and lay there in the silence, I wondered something unsettling: was this all there was to this life of following Jesus?

When had my relationship with Jesus become so ... routine? So … dull?

Maybe you've been there too. You love Jesus—that's not the question. You believe the right things, you try to live the right way, and you genuinely want to follow Him. But somewhere along the way, the vibrant, life-changing relationship you once had (or thought you'd have) settled into something that feels more like religious maintenance than spiritual adventure.

Here's what I've learned: you cannot give what you do not have. You cannot lead someone into a deeper relationship with Jesus if you're not developing that relationship yourself. And you certainly cannot make multiplying disciples if your own discipleship has become stagnant.

The Foundation of Everything

Before we talk about finding people of peace, overcoming fear, or learning Jesus' methods of ministry, we need to address the foundation: your personal, daily, growing relationship with God. This isn't about adding another item to your spiritual to-do list. This is about rediscovering the source of everything else we'll talk about.

Jesus' words in John 15 aren't just beautiful poetry—they're the blueprint for a fruitful life. "Remain in me," He says. The Greek word is meno, which means to stay, to dwell, to make your home. It's not about visiting Jesus occasionally; it's about living in Him.

But what does that actually look like in real life? How do you abide in Christ when you're dealing with work deadlines, kids pulling each other’s hair, a red-lining bank balance, and the thousand other things that demand your attention every day?

The Father Heart Revelation

It starts with a revelation. God wants relationship with you! His desire is to know you and walk with you. God is not some distant divinity or joyless judge. His passion has always been to have fellowship (an outdated but potent word) with us. And by us - I mean you!

The scriptures are full of this. From the beginning of creation, when God walked with Adam in the cool of the day (Gen 3:8), through Jeremiah's cry "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness" (Jer 31:3), to Jesus' declaration "This is eternal life: to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (John 17:3), to the final end of Revelation "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God" (Rev 21:3), the message is consistent.

Raniero Cantalamessa, Preacher to the Papal household, once wrote, “The love of God is the answer to all the ‘whys’ in the Bible: the why of Creation, the why of the Incarnation, the why of Redemption. . . . If the written word of the Bible could be changed into a spoken word and become one single voice, this voice, more powerful than the roaring of the sea, would cry out: ‘The Father loves you!’”

So how does the Christian life so easily descend into dreary discipline?

Beyond Discipline Guilt

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a place for discipline. Faithfully reading scripture, prayer and fasting regularly are a bedrock for Christian discipleship. But I've watched too many Christians become slaves to a formula rather than cultivating a relationship. They measure their spiritual health by their consistency with a routine rather than by their actual connection with Jesus. (I've also watched others not grow at all because they had no discipline! There's ditches on each side of the path!!)

There was a time when I was fasting every Tuesday without fail. Guess what. I was miserable. Talking to a friend who was discipling me, he said something that stuck: "Don’t fast until you can’t stand not fasting." That’s great, I thought to myself. I don’t like fasting so that’s me off the hook! So I stopped fasting.

But a year later someone I was close to was in a desperate situation and asked me to pray for them. When I prayed I had a deep sense that the prayer was powerless. When I was asking God why my prayers seemed so limp I had a strong impression: "this kind come out only by prayer and fasting." I realised in that moment we don’t fast for God, we fast for us! Fasting develops spiritual muscle which is then available when we need it!

So abiding is bigger than discipline but it does include discipline. It's about developing an ongoing awareness of Christ's love and presence throughout your day. It's about learning to hear His voice in the midst of ordinary moments. It's about allowing His character to shape your responses to both the mundane and the crisis moments of life. It’s about receiving His love and giving it away.

The Rhythm of Relationship

Think about your closest human relationships. What makes them deep and meaningful? It's not just the scheduled times you spend together, though those matter. It's the ongoing conversation, the shared experiences, the way you think about that person even when they're not physically present. It's the way their voice, their priorities, their thoughts and feelings echo in your mind when you're making decisions.

Your relationship with Jesus can have that same quality of ongoing connection. Some Christians called it "practicing the presence of God"—learning to be aware that by His Spirit, Jesus is with you, in you, and walking with you every moment of every day. His love and His grace are consistent and unfailing.

This doesn't mean you're constantly praying out loud or reading your Bible at your desk (though there's nothing wrong with either). It means you're developing “conversational intimacy" with God—the ability to include Him in your thoughts, your decisions, your reactions, and your plans as naturally as you breathe.

Multiplying the Life Within

Does this mean that your personal walk with Jesus has to be perfect before you can become a multiplying disciple? A resounding no!

Jesus told the man from Gadara who was delivered of a legion of demons to "go back home and tell everything God has done for you" (Mark 5:19). He turns the guy into a multiplying disciple even though he knew very little!

Paul writes "follow me as I follow Christ" (1 Cor 11:1).

This is about trajectory - not about achievement!

We’re all learning and growing and as long as we are actively, passionately, learning to abide in and follow Jesus we’re fit to multiply! The main thing is that we’ve made a conscious choice to step out of stagnant and into the flow!

I remember hearing a friend, Maureen, talk to another friend who wasn’t yet a Christian. As I introduced them, Maureen asked "do you know Jesus?" When my second friend said that they didn’t, Maureen declared something like "Oh you must - He’s the best!" It struck me at the time as bold but in another way not bold. It came not as something forced but as a natural overflow of delight. It came from someone who’d encountered and had deep fellowship with a God who had won her heart.

So what’s the next step for you to cultivate this inner life? What does it look like for you to take fresh steps so that you can boldly say to others ‘follow me as I follow Christ’? What does the life of a dynamic disciple look like for you?